My Valentine’s Day as a single person no longer passes with any sense of yearning or sadness. But it took a while to get here. Therapy only helped a little bit. My therapists were sympathetic but they could not relate to being single for more than a decade or understand what it felt like to stare at a future alone.
If it’s helpful, I’ll share what has helped me, speaking from the experience of someone who has never married (which, admittedly, is a slightly different experience and perspective than if I had been divorced or widowed). I’ve spent my 36 years single, despite two very short-lived relationships lasting less than a year in total. Thus, I have some expertise.
As a rule, I have long learned that if you question the vulnerability of this post (or any of my posts for that matter) then this post probably is not for you. It is for someone though. Back when I used to write more frequently about being single, I would get so many messages from people who really appreciated my words, so I know that my putting my life out there does help someone.
What has helped me is empathy, community, reframing and changing my perspective. And maturity.
- When I got into a community with people who could relate (whether online community for single or just having a bunch of single friends), it normalized my experience…
